Now I understand.

I am a terrible friend, and now I finally understand why this is all happening. I don’t deserve the people that God put around me, and I am forever thankful for them. I wish they knew what was going on in my head, and then maybe they’d understand why I act the way I act, and do the things that I do.

I am absolutely terrified of not being liked, not fitting in, not saying the right things, not thinking the right things, not being the person everyone wants me to be, so I just outcast myself and don’t even give a chance for things to play out. If I seem like I’m pushing you away, I’m not doing it on purpose. I’m sorry, genuinely sorry.

Talk about feeling excluded…

staceyde-ng:

When will I learn to stop disappointing people?