Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples: 2 “The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. 3 So you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. 4 They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.
5 “Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries[a] wide and the tassels on their garments long; 6 they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; 7 they love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and to be called ‘Rabbi’ by others.
8 “But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi,’ for you have one Teacher, and you are all brothers. 9 And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. 10 Nor are you to be called instructors, for you have one Instructor, the Messiah. 11 The greatest among you will be your servant. 12 For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.
Matthew 23: 1-12
Think about it.
Now I understand.
I am a terrible friend, and now I finally understand why this is all happening. I don’t deserve the people that God put around me, and I am forever thankful for them. I wish they knew what was going on in my head, and then maybe they’d understand why I act the way I act, and do the things that I do.
I am absolutely terrified of not being liked, not fitting in, not saying the right things, not thinking the right things, not being the person everyone wants me to be, so I just outcast myself and don’t even give a chance for things to play out. If I seem like I’m pushing you away, I’m not doing it on purpose. I’m sorry, genuinely sorry.
Talk about feeling excluded…
When will I learn to stop disappointing people?